Dads/Partners and Doulas

"When my wife first proposed the idea of using the services of a doula for the birth of our first child, I was rather taken aback. Why was I not good enough to support her through her labour? What can a doula do that I can't do? I agreed to have a consultation with a doula to see what services they provide. After an hour or so of chatting, it became very clear to me that far from usurping my role in the birth, this person's involvement could only help me help my wife more effectively. She suggested things that I could do that I never would have thought of on my own. Our child was born after a very long, 40-hour labor. After going through that experience, I know that I would have been lost, terrified, and utterly useless to my wife without the support and calming influence of our doula. I know now that I could not have fulfilled the role that I did without her."

-- The words of a father.

Many partners balk to the idea of having a doula at their birth. There are many reasons for this reluctance. They may feel that having a doula there will be an intrusion on the privacy of the birth, or that they will be able to be the all the support their partner needs, and the mother’s request for a doula can make them feel that the mother feels they aren’t good enough and that the doula is taking their place. I want to reassure all partners that these beliefs are common myths and will not be the case if you hire the right doula for you.

I will work with you (the partner) to help you help the mother to your comfort level. I can make suggestions about how you can help support her both physically and emotionally. Birth is an emotional time for partners too. You are seeing your loved one go through something that is physically demanding and possibly painful. It can be hard for you to know you can’t “take it away” and many partners feel helpless and worry something is wrong when labour starts to get intense.  I can reassure you about the normalcy of what is going on when you see or hear things you may not expect. I can be the one who goes to get things like ice chips, blankets, water, food etc. so you can stay with your partner. I can make sure your partner is never alone when you need a break to use the bathroom or get something to eat, or even have a nap.  I can help remind you of what we discuss during our prenatal meetings about your desires for the birth. I can also talk to family members for you if needed. I am an extra set of hands and eyes in the delivery room, I can remind you to ask questions when your care-provider is making suggestions about the procedures they are wanting to do.

Doulas do not replace the support of a partner. Doulas enhance the role of the partner.

Contact Us

Inner Strength Doula Services | Nicole Eramian | 306-934-0962 | Arrange a Free Consultation